Motunrayo Sokoya
This is JULY.
It is time for end of session examinations and awards.
This is the season when parents flaunt the achievements of their brilliant children. Pictures of these children will be everywhere showing how many awards the kid received and how mum and dad are so proud of him/her. You will see the pictures on Facebook, Blackberry DP etc. Some parents will even share testimonies in Church.
However many parents won't have any picture to show. Reason? Their children didn't win any award. The child didn’t receive any accolades or recognition. Interestingly, there are more parents in this category.
If you are a parent in the first category, congratulations! Remember to celebrate with moderation. Also remember to thank God for his mercies. Finally, ensure you partner with your child to improve the performance. Sustained performance is very important.
However if your child didn’t win any award, I have a couple of ideas to share.
1. Note that this is the result for a session and not for a life time. It's a one year dash in the race of life. It's not a life time assessment. So, don't take more seriously that you should.
2. A Students’ report card is a report of several activities. Most report cards are done in two major categories namely, academics and Skills/ character. Don't focus only on the academics. The sections on character and others are equally important. Also remember to read the teachers comments and other comments. Celebrate the child's achievements in these other areas.
3. Talk with the child. Ask what he or she thinks about the result. Also seek joint problem solving opportunities to improve the result. Remember to compose yourself very well before the discussion. As you discuss with your child, remember to watch out for that’s said and what’s not said
4. Talk with the teacher. Get his views on the issue. Know his perspective on the child’s performance. Seek his counsel on what to do to get better results
5. If your child was asked to repeat a class, investigate that decision. What the child improve if he repeats the class? What support does the school have to manage his emotions or ego if he has to repeat? What support can you give? Research evidence isn’t conclusive of the benefit of children repeating a class
6. Develop an action plan. Study the report card and determine what corrective actions to take. Remember it’s not YOUR Plan ensure the child is involved in the development of the plan. Don’t rush him to develop the plan. Take it gradually.
The plan should answer the basic question: What you intend to do to improve? Please ensure YOU aren't the one doing everything. The child has the role to play. Remember the plan will include, what he needs to stop doing, what he needs to start doing, what he needs to reduce and what he needs to increase. As a parent, you also have some roles to perform. You may consider teaching the child yourself during the holiday, getting a lesson teacher or even changing the school.
7. Manage your emotional state. Don't compare the child with others. Don't make it the subject of abuse or feedback. Don't deny him benefits because of his result. How you handle this is very important
8. Leaders deal in hope. Give the child hope. Also have hope it will be well
9. Start implementing the plan from this holiday period. Yes, don’t wait and also start appraising your plan throughout the holiday. Ensure you are making progress.
Don't be discouraged. The child is a GEM. He will blossom in his own area and at his own time. You need to be patient and ensure he has the right environment. I guarantee you; your child will blossom and be celebrated.
